“What Did You Learn at Preschool Today?”

  Since she began school in September, my daughter comes home each day with stories about her class time.  I noticed a theme begin to emerge: when I would ask what she learned at school, her answers were always in the negative.  And they sounded a little like the answers of that kid.  You know the one… there is always one and, as a parent, you just pray that that kid isn’t your kid.

I didn’t make up any of these answers.  The funniest stuff that happens in parenting is too ridiculous to be able to be thought up.  I’d like to thank my girl’s preschool teachers for their patience and their complete denial at our parent-teacher conference that she is that kid.  Being lied to is sometimes very, very kind.  Also, being patient and having good humor is very, very necessary for being a quality early education instructor (and for most of life, for that matter).

“What Did You Learn at Preschool Today?” – Answers by My 3-Year-Old

1. You can’t say “Me first, me first!” because the teachers get annoyed by that.

2. You can’t go into the bathroom when someone is already in the bathroom.  Because that would be impolite if you do open the door on purpose.

3. You can’t stick out your butt and say “buttsie, buttsie” to someone.

4. You can’t shake your water glass and bounce it up and down and say, “I’m a water glass and I’m dancing in preschool.”  You might spill and have to clean it up.

5. You can’t show just anyone your belly button for no reason.

6. You can’t throw wood chips into the sky and say, “It’s raining wood chips!”

7. You can’t steal someone else’s shoes just to try them on.  Or their coat or their mittens.

8. You can’t sneak two extra scoops of snacks even if your belly is saying, “Please get me more.”  Because there might not be enough for the other kids.

9. You can’t hide when it’s time to clean up because they will always find you.

10. You can’t go to preschool naked.  Or even just with no pants.

  This was today's answer:

  This was today's answer: "You can't put grapes on your eyes like this and say 'Om' even if it's super funny.  You still can't.  Even if you laugh and everyone laughs.  Still, no."