When 8pm comes around and they, eventually, are sound asleep in their beds, do you know what I do? Even on the days when I’ve wished them to sleep all day long, even on the days when I’ve hidden in the pantry praying no one would find me and need something? I look at pictures of them. Like, I miss them. While they are sleeping. Even though when they were awake I was wishing them asleep. Parenthood, more than anything, is lunacy.
I wished for bedtime when I kissed them good morning – not a way to start the day.
But here I am now, while they sleep, telling stories about them, looking at pictures of them, hovering over their beds, hoping that all of the love I feel for them will make up for all of the energy and all of the patience I lacked today.
Tomorrow... can I hold on to this feeling until 5 o’clock tomorrow morning?